Potato Point police today arrested four local green-skinhead gang members after they were caught beating up a Roman Catholic teenager in the North Potato Point area.
Going by the names Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello & Michelangelo, we had the chance to interview them while they were in jail awaiting sentencing.
“That Catholic had it coming. I could just tell he was an Irish immigrant too. Those are the worst! Cowabunga dude!” – Michelangelo
When asked what groups each of the members hate the most Donatello chimed in with: “I totally hate Armenians dude! Especially the Kardashians! I’m pretty sure Kim and Kanye’s kid will rise to be the anti-christ and ruin our great Christian land. That and steal my pizza!”
“The minute I figured out Shredder was Asian (when his helmet accidentally fell off in the supermarket) we’ve been at war with him and his crew.” – Raphael
Leonardo elaborated with: “Master Splinter taught us three rules:”
- April is totally bodacious
- Pizza rules
- Hate anyone who isn’t green, wearing a halfshell, and isn’t a turtle.
The turtles are currently evaluating whether or not they hate Vanilla Ice, despite his pro-turtle rap music.