Local couple Tyler and Shanna Gifford recently had the pleasure of discussing their life insurance options with local salesmen John Carlos of the American Life Insurance Company.

Carlos, noticing that the couple had a young child immediately went for the ‘think of the children pitch’ and tried guilting the couple into buying an additional $100,000 in whole life insurance so as to think of their child’s future.

“With a young child like that, what are you two going to do when you both die (at the same time)? Statistically, you have a 0.0005% chance of both dying at the same time and your daughter can’t survive on a measly $30,000 without having to resort to prostitution.” -Carlos

Carlos followed, using the lame good, better and best sales technique showed the couple a chart offering $100,000, $150,000 and $200,000 as options with labels for bronze, silver and gold. He then recommended Tyler choose the silver level which is what every lame salesman does in this scenario.

“What precious metal am I currently at with my $30,000 policy, tin?” Gifford responded.

After three hours of listening to every sales tactic in the book, their dog barking and baby crying, the Giffords finally relented and purchased an additional ‘copper?’ level policy with a total value of $50,000 so that the insurance salesman would finally go home and they could enjoy the last 30 minutes of their night before returning to their jobs the next day.

They both considered suicide at the two hour mark, but realized in talking with Carlos that it wouldn’t be covered in their policy.