After waiting in line, outside an Apple Store for the last 2 days, local Potato Point resident Amber Egert’s first purchase was a $5, jewel encrusted, case off of Amazon.com.

Jonathan Ive can fuck off with his scratch resistant, aluminosilicate glass case, chemically strengthened to be 20 times stiffer and 30 times harder than plastic. I prefer my plastic case any day of the week -Amber Egert

When asked why she would cover her $599 off-contract iPhone that Steve Jobs laboriously spent the last 6 months of his life perfecting  with a $5 plastic case, Amber replied – “I guess I just ‘think different’. Steve Jobs may be happy having the same iPhone as everyone else, but I will be the only 13 year old girl with a bedazzled case.” Amber was later seen attempting to place a pink-camouflaged laptop vinyl over the top of her $1,600 Macbook.

She didn’t seem to mind that the Apple logo was obfuscated by the sticker. “Everyone else has Macbooks, I want mine to be different”.